Meatless Meat and the Insane Vegans – A Green Nightmare Meatless meat – seriously, who came up with this nonsense? It’s like building a car without wheels and calling it "driving fun"! These flabby soy things that look like a burger but taste like someone deep-fried an old sneaker – hard pass! And then there are these unhinged vegans, clutching their kale smoothies while preaching about "saving the planet." Sure, while they force-feed their cats broccoli and look like they haven’t seen sunlight in three years. They think they’re enlightened, but really, they’re just a cult worshipping tofu as their god! If you hate meat so damn much, why are you so desperate to pretend you’re eating it? Just buy a salad and stop annoying us normal people with your "Beyond Schnitzels"! And no, Karen, your vegan döner isn’t a döner – it’s a tragedy on pita bread. I’ll stick to my steak – and if the world goes down, at least I’ll go down with a full stomach and no soy aft...